Sigflanagan6
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Post by Sigflanagan6 on Apr 17, 2013 9:32:46 GMT -5
So, for the past 6 months I've been dating a girl that I knew from high school. Things have been phenomenal. Only issue is she has a drinking problem. Not like the ones we all have, this is for real. Like gets belligerent drunk most every night that I'm not with her. Last week things came to a head and she's now going to aa, which is fantastic.
Here's what I'm struggling with. I can moderate my drinking. I enjoy going to the bar occasionally and having a few with friends. Do I have to stop drinking now? I mean I won't be able to keep my rum at the house, but it's messed up if I drink in her presence, at least for the beginning right? Any thoughts?
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Diz
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Post by Diz on Apr 17, 2013 9:38:26 GMT -5
Run. Run while you can.
Realistically, you shouldn't have to stop your drinking, you don't have the problem but the right thing to do is quit with her and help her through it all.
Most alcoholics will never quit. As soon as something doesn't go the right way, they are back on the bottle. 6 months isn't a long time, i would at least question whether or not it's worth it.
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TommyDee
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Post by TommyDee on Apr 17, 2013 9:43:36 GMT -5
So you fell for her while she was drinking?
Now she is going to stop?
I think you know my answer to that.
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Voodoochile
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Post by Voodoochile on Apr 17, 2013 10:08:13 GMT -5
Wow. I agree with Diz for once.
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G&T
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Post by G&T on Apr 17, 2013 10:09:31 GMT -5
Good luck. My wife has the same problem.
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Diz
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Post by Diz on Apr 17, 2013 10:32:40 GMT -5
In other words, make like a fetus and head out.
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flats
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Post by flats on Apr 17, 2013 10:48:36 GMT -5
Sorry to hear that Sig. I don't have any experience with this particular problem. Only advice I can give is that if you aren't ready to cut ties you need to at least not escalate the relationship for a good while. If you aren't exclusive or aren't living together don't take those steps anytime soon. Gotta protect yourself and your kids first.
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Voodoochile
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Post by Voodoochile on Apr 17, 2013 11:11:35 GMT -5
Sig is a crazy magnet
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Sigflanagan6
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Post by Sigflanagan6 on Apr 17, 2013 11:43:39 GMT -5
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acejack
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Post by acejack on Apr 17, 2013 14:03:30 GMT -5
You should drink more.
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flats
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Post by flats on Apr 17, 2013 15:54:57 GMT -5
Oh, as to the second part of your first post: I wouldn't drink around her for now. You should be able to eventually, but the first week in AA would probably be insensitive.
She just doing AA? Do you know how much she was consuming on a daily basis? Because booze is a drug that is very dangerous to quit cold turkey if she was drinking serious quantities daily. She might need a supervised setting for a bit.
Also, no matter what happens its clear she needed help and you were able to play a part in her getting it. Doubtful she would be going to AA if it weren't for you. You should be proud of that.
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Sigflanagan6
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Post by Sigflanagan6 on Apr 17, 2013 20:52:46 GMT -5
Oh, as to the second part of your first post: I wouldn't drink around her for now. You should be able to eventually, but the first week in AA would probably be insensitive. She just doing AA? Do you know how much she was consuming on a daily basis? Because booze is a drug that is very dangerous to quit cold turkey if she was drinking serious quantities daily. She might need a supervised setting for a bit. Also, no matter what happens its clear she needed help and you were able to play a part in her getting it. Doubtful she would be going to AA if it weren't for you. You should be proud of that. She drank vodka straight. Usually 2-3 glasses a day. Thing is when I'm near here she doesn't feel the need to drink. The more serious we became, and each time after seeing each other, it got worse. Great girl, amazing when she's sober, flip a coin as to what you get when drunk. You either get happy go lucky or mean bitch. She's going to a doctor tomorrow because yesterday and today kicked her ass. She's doing 90 meetings in 90 days to start. I'm proud of her. I hope she can get where I am. I had a severe drinking problem in my early twenties. Wake up call for me was almost getting arrested for vandalizing parking garage in tower city. Didn't have a drink for three years, and finally got to a point where I can have just one or two. Diz remember when I called you drunk and said I was going to kill you, rip out your eyeballs and fuck the sockets? That was me every day back then. That's the only time since I've lost control. Point being, can't judge her. I'm just trying to gage how long I need to wait, or how insensitive it is to drink around her. I move back in June. I'll want to go to games and have a few, go to bars and have a few. Didn't know if any of you guys had any experience. Lastly, I hear you guys saying run, but I can't right now. Me running is why she's going. She kept telling me she'd curtail the drinking, never happened. Last Tuesday after she got back from here she was belligerent. I told her I couldn't do that anymore and I was out. Next day she went to her first meeting. Kind of a dick move if I bolted now. Right?
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TommyDee
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Post by TommyDee on Apr 17, 2013 20:59:39 GMT -5
How big are the glasses? 2-3? Jesus, if anything, u are underestimating our site.
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Sigflanagan6
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Post by Sigflanagan6 on Apr 17, 2013 21:03:21 GMT -5
How big are the glasses? 2-3? Jesus, if anything, u are underestimating our site. Pint glass, one that most of us would drink water out of. When I say straight vodka, I mean straight. No ice, no soda, just vodka.
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Voodoochile
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Post by Voodoochile on Apr 17, 2013 21:06:05 GMT -5
And??
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TommyDee
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Post by TommyDee on Apr 17, 2013 21:11:30 GMT -5
I expected more. I guess if she acts like a nut job because of that it's one thing.
That said I like vodka & drinking it with no ice is her biggest problem.
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G&T
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Post by G&T on Apr 17, 2013 21:14:05 GMT -5
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acejack
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Post by acejack on Apr 17, 2013 21:18:47 GMT -5
I'm having trouble taking this topic seriously because whenever someone called into Opie & Anthony and said they had a very serious question for a guest it was usually something like: "Why don't you throw yourself off the GW Bridge?"
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TommyDee
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Post by TommyDee on Apr 17, 2013 21:26:12 GMT -5
How many regular beers = 32 ounces of vodka?
Just use like 4% & 80 proof.
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Voodoochile
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Post by Voodoochile on Apr 17, 2013 21:45:53 GMT -5
How many regular beers = 32 ounces of vodka? Just use like 4% & 80 proof. This many?
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Sigflanagan6
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Post by Sigflanagan6 on Apr 17, 2013 23:55:14 GMT -5
How many regular beers = 32 ounces of vodka? Just use like 4% & 80 proof. Not sure. I know she'd go through 2 of the largest bottles of stoli you can buy in a week.
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acejack
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Post by acejack on Apr 18, 2013 1:25:45 GMT -5
How many regular beers = 32 ounces of vodka? Just use like 4% & 80 proof. Not sure. I know she'd go through 2 of the largest bottles of stoli you can buy in a week. That's so fucking hot.
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