That "OH SHIT!" moment

[Voodoochile]

I'm sure we've all had them.

When I was 16 or 17 I was painting my parents house. It was a split level along with a 2nd floor. I was painting the chimney section at the top and felt the ladder slip a little. I look down and my young stupid ass had managed to put the feet of the extension ladder on the plastic tarp. So paint bucket & brush in hand I start to slowly climb back down. I got one foot on the next rung and OH SHIT! there it went. Besides paint being everywhere it should not have been I was missing about 6 inches of flesh off of my shin.

I don't think there was a part of my body that didn't hurt for days afterwards.

[Diz]

I used to do roofs and paint when i was around 16 - 20 on the side. I once slid from the top of a two story all the way down and off the porch roof. The worst part was knowing for about a 10 second slide that there was nothing i could do to stop from going over the edge. I didn't get injured except for the ass burn.

My sister now lives in that house. I curse the roof every time i visit.

[Voodoochile]

My biggest problem was trying not to spill the paint. That ended up being a futile attempt anyway. I should have tossed the paint and tried to time the slide but as they say hind sight is always 20/20

[G&T]

Driving to Crossville, TN to the family condo one year on the eve of July 4. If I had to guess, 1988. On I-75 in TN climbing Jellico Mountain if you happen to know the spot. It's 1 am and my now ex-wife is asleep in the passenger seat, just the two of us.

I was doing 70, cruise control on, driving the land yacht a 1975 4-door Oldsmobile Delta 88. Well I see the 4%(I think 4) grade signs that mostly tell the trucks to be cautious I guess, and it starts pouring. Like from nothing to torrential in seconds. I kick the cruise off but maintain speed, the car starts hydro-planing. Oh shit. I woke up the ex, said "we're going to wreck" I had no control whatsoever, the car just whipping back and forth until finally I'm spinning doing 360s down a mountain on I-75 in the pouring rain. The car finally hits the guard rail head-on, spins and hits it again, one more time, and I ended up stopped in the middle of the road. Now it's fuck me, but the car had just enough momentum to roll forward off the raod and allow the oncoming traffic to pass.

A semi-driver saw it happening and immediately started braking and stopped behind us. Great guy, he gave us a ride into Knoxville and dropped us at a Holiday Inn. I called the state troopers and they said "well get it towed off the road, nothing we can do". Just wanted to make sure they didn't take it somewhere. Finally found a tow truck at 3 am on July 4 and he towed it back, fixed the damaged radiator and hoses, charged me $187. There are good people out there.

Have to finish, dad came to pick us up from the condo the next morning, pulls into the wrong Holiday Inn, see a "For Lease" sign on the building and gets distracted and plows into the side of someone's car. Another fuck me I guess.

[G&T]

We went back the next morning to check out the spot and it was straight down a cliff on the other side of the guard rail... Was quite surreal standing there looking at how close that guard rail was to breaking. They had it replaced by the time we came home two weeks later.

[acejack]

I remember the day I bought my first digital camera and took it out to Whipp's Ledges. So I'm out there getting baked, taking macro shots of moss and rocks when I realize the sun is 3/4 down and I'm probably a mile or more into the park. So I double time it toward the entrance backtracking along the same cliff that brought me out there, and I step on some loose dirt or leaves and slip right down to the edge.

I remember grabbing onto some sort of plant and use my body and my feet as a brake and somehow come to a stop. I look over and see the camera hanging by it's strap on my wrist and laughed that I was still worried about my 1.3 megapixel camera hanging onto a piece of grass on the edge of a 40 foot cliff. I pulled myself up my a tree root, then took a picture of some dirt with the flash on and used the LCD display as a flashlight out of there. Also tried to keep a wide berth from any more drastic elevation changes.

[acejack]

First time I drove up to the abandoned mines I didn't realize that I might drive up a mountain and not have a place to turn around. That's exactly what happened. Had to back it up probably a half mile along a 500 foot cliff to one of the mine openings where there was about a postage stamp for me to turn around.

Worse yet, like a moron I had pulled forward into the mouth of the cave and so now I'm backing up toward the cliff. If one of my back tires went over, there would have been no way out. Let your foot off the brake and hope you explode at the bottom. I went forward/reverse about a dozen times maybe two feet at a time but finally got it around and back down. Now I know drive it up to the top and leave it there, and then when you leave just slowly back down.

[acejack]

Also, when the park ranger tells you it's better not to take the Southern path out of Death Valley at night, he's not just trying to be a bummer. The roads through the mountains are narrow, winding and often not properly marked. We were at a point where it was basically a coin flip and I said "Let's go that way. It looks a little brighter that way."

[BrownstotheBone]

When I was 18 I put all my shit in the back of a Chevy Vega and moved to Cleveland to join a rock band. I had spent next to no time anywhere near or even close to Cleveland.
When I say "all my shit" I mean a Marshall head and cabinet, 2 guitars (a 75 Les Paul Custom Sunburst and a 76 Flying V) my clothes and a few belongings.

My destination was W.41st and Clark Ave. There was a wedding reception hall above a bar (Dave's Bar) that we made into a rehearsal hall. (pretty convenient no?
Well, I got lost on the way up because of viaducts and bad planning and what not... so I rolled down my passenger window to ask a guy that was crossing the street where W. 41st street was.

Bad move. He opened my car door (passengers side) jumped in and said DRIVE MOTHERFUCKER!

Then he says, "I just got out of a Christian Church Monastery." and proceeded to talk a bunch of weird wacky bullshit... and I was like ... ah... ok... where do you want to go? He said "JUST DRIVE!"

So I drove around Cleveland somewhere because this guy acted like he might have a gun (never took his hands out of his pockets) and ordered me around for a while.
Finally I said "Hey! lets go in HERE for a beer. Some weird off the wall place.. I still couldn't tell you where it was.

He said "You can't go in there". (like it was too rough or something) but I pulled over and parked anyway after getting sick of this BS. Either he was going to shoot me or whatever. I was done.

So I acted like I was going to get out and go into the bar and watched until his door shut then I jumped back inside the car, slammed down his lock, backed up, pulled a u'y and looked back to see him standing on a street corner without a ride in a bad neighborhood.

I can still see his face. Standing there. In the middle of nowhere.. on foot. BASTARD! He who laughs last laughs hardest.

On another note, the other band members were thinking I was a flake for not showing up on time.

My introduction to Cleveland.

[brownsphenom]

My OH SHIT moment.

first time I looked down after sex and saw the condom had broken at some point. HOLY FUCK that sucks

[Diz]

SuperAIDS

[brownsphenom]

This was pre-superAIDS. I think it gave me ADD though

[Voodoochile]

Jan 31, 2013 22:57:27 GMT -5 BrownstotheBone said:

When I was 18 I put all my shit in the back of a Chevy Vega and moved to Cleveland to join a rock band. I had spent next to no time anywhere near or even close to Cleveland.
When I say "all my shit" I mean a Marshall head and cabinet, 2 guitars (a 75 Les Paul Custom Sunburst and a 76 Flying V) my clothes and a few belongings.

My destination was W.41st and Clark Ave. There was a wedding reception hall above a bar (Dave's Bar) that we made into a rehearsal hall. (pretty convenient no?
Well, I got lost on the way up because of viaducts and bad planning and what not... so I rolled down my passenger window to ask a guy that was crossing the street where W. 41st street was.

Bad move. He opened my car door (passengers side) jumped in and said DRIVE MOTHERFUCKER!

Then he says, "I just got out of a Christian Church Monastery." and proceeded to talk a bunch of weird wacky bullshit... and I was like ... ah... ok... where do you want to go? He said "JUST DRIVE!"

So I drove around Cleveland somewhere because this guy acted like he might have a gun (never took his hands out of his pockets) and ordered me around for a while.
Finally I said "Hey! lets go in HERE for a beer. Some weird off the wall place.. I still couldn't tell you where it was.

He said "You can't go in there". (like it was too rough or something) but I pulled over and parked anyway after getting sick of this BS. Either he was going to shoot me or whatever. I was done.

So I acted like I was going to get out and go into the bar and watched until his door shut then I jumped back inside the car, slammed down his lock, backed up, pulled a u'y and looked back to see him standing on a street corner without a ride in a bad neighborhood.

I can still see his face. Standing there. In the middle of nowhere.. on foot. BASTARD! He who laughs last laughs hardest.

On another note, the other band members were thinking I was a flake for not showing up on time.

My introduction to Cleveland.

That reminds me of the last hitch hiker I picked up. I was probably early 20's and was heading to a buddies house and some dude was thumbing on the entrance ramp on I85 in Georgia. He looked like an okay guy so I gave him a lift. About 10 minutes up the road he says he needs to use a restroom so I pull into a gas station. He heads inside and I figured while I am here I will top off the gas tank. They had one of those little island booths to pay so I never went in the store. A few minutes later he jumps in the car and says okay let's go.

Not 5 minutes later I get pulled over. I'm freaking out since I had a couple eight balls in the glove box. Cop tells me to get out and come back to his car. He asks me who my passenger is and I told him just a hitch hiker I picked up and don't even know his name. Cop tells me the guy tried to rob the gas station we just left and for me to take him to the next exit and drop him off a McDonald's parking lot. He gives me a warning for speeding and gets back in his car.

When I get to the McDonald's I tell the guy this is it. Gave him $5.00 for some food and said I had to go. As I am pulling away I look in the rear view and there were 5-6 cop cars swarming in.

I have no idea if he was armed or what but I have never picked up another hitch hiker.

[BrownstotheBone]

Feb 7, 2013 11:30:19 GMT -5 Voodoochile said:

Jan 31, 2013 22:57:27 GMT -5 BrownstotheBone said:

When I was 18 I put all my shit in the back of a Chevy Vega and moved to Cleveland to join a rock band. I had spent next to no time anywhere near or even close to Cleveland.
When I say "all my shit" I mean a Marshall head and cabinet, 2 guitars (a 75 Les Paul Custom Sunburst and a 76 Flying V) my clothes and a few belongings.

My destination was W.41st and Clark Ave. There was a wedding reception hall above a bar (Dave's Bar) that we made into a rehearsal hall. (pretty convenient no?
Well, I got lost on the way up because of viaducts and bad planning and what not... so I rolled down my passenger window to ask a guy that was crossing the street where W. 41st street was.

Bad move. He opened my car door (passengers side) jumped in and said DRIVE MOTHERFUCKER!

Then he says, "I just got out of a Christian Church Monastery." and proceeded to talk a bunch of weird wacky bullshit... and I was like ... ah... ok... where do you want to go? He said "JUST DRIVE!"

So I drove around Cleveland somewhere because this guy acted like he might have a gun (never took his hands out of his pockets) and ordered me around for a while.
Finally I said "Hey! lets go in HERE for a beer. Some weird off the wall place.. I still couldn't tell you where it was.

He said "You can't go in there". (like it was too rough or something) but I pulled over and parked anyway after getting sick of this BS. Either he was going to shoot me or whatever. I was done.

So I acted like I was going to get out and go into the bar and watched until his door shut then I jumped back inside the car, slammed down his lock, backed up, pulled a u'y and looked back to see him standing on a street corner without a ride in a bad neighborhood.

I can still see his face. Standing there. In the middle of nowhere.. on foot. BASTARD! He who laughs last laughs hardest.

On another note, the other band members were thinking I was a flake for not showing up on time.

My introduction to Cleveland.

That reminds me of the last hitch hiker I picked up. I was probably early 20's and was heading to a buddies house and some dude was thumbing on the entrance ramp on I85 in Georgia. He looked like an okay guy so I gave him a lift. About 10 minutes up the road he says he needs to use a restroom so I pull into a gas station. He heads inside and I figured while I am here I will top off the gas tank. They had one of those little island booths to pay so I never went in the store. A few minutes later he jumps in the car and says okay let's go.

Not 5 minutes later I get pulled over. I'm freaking out since I had a couple eight balls in the glove box. Cop tells me to get out and come back to his car. He asks me who my passenger is and I told him just a hitch hiker I picked up and don't even know his name. Cop tells me the guy tried to rob the gas station we just left and for me to take him to the next exit and drop him off a McDonald's parking lot. He gives me a warning for speeding and gets back in his car.

When I get to the McDonald's I tell the guy this is it. Gave him $5.00 for some food and said I had to go. As I am pulling away I look in the rear view and there were 5-6 cop cars swarming in.

I have no idea if he was armed or what but I have never picked up another hitch hiker.

That's awesome. Someone else that knows that..... "feeling".

Lucky you had the cops tip you off.

I drove around for a while thinking ... "I've got to get rid of this asshole without pissing him off."

But how?

[acejack]

Didn't you guys have dads to tell you not to pick up hitchhikers unless they're hot chicks?

[Voodoochile]

Feb 7, 2013 20:43:14 GMT -5 acejack said:

Didn't you guys have dads to tell you not to pick up hitchhikers unless they're hot chicks?

Probably but I'm sure it was like those hundreds of other things I blew off thinking I was smarter.

[BrownstotheBone]

Feb 7, 2013 20:43:14 GMT -5 acejack said:

Didn't you guys have dads to tell you not to pick up hitchhikers unless they're hot chicks?

I didn't pick him up! He jumped in my car and said DRIVE! I was 18. I drove...

[acejack]

VD - Should have listened to dad.

bTTb - Your car didn't auto lock it's doors at 5 mph? What was it a Packard?

[BrownstotheBone]

Feb 7, 2013 21:11:00 GMT -5 acejack said:

VD - Should have listened to dad.

bTTb - Your car didn't auto lock it's doors at 5 mph? What was it a Packard?

[Voodoochile]

Feb 7, 2013 21:11:00 GMT -5 acejack said:

VD - Should have listened to dad.

bTTb - Your car didn't auto lock it's doors at 5 mph? What was it a Packard?

I am old enough and wise enough now to admit I should have listened to a lot of things my parents were telling me. Hopefully I can do a better job getting thru to my kids than they were.

We used to have a '35 Packard with suicide doors. Fucking cool ass car. Straight 8 too.

[Deleted]

1. Hitchhiking east on I-80 between Cleveland and Philly (my car broke down). Picked up by thieves -- car full of stolen shit -- thought I was gonna get jumped but fortunately both driver and passenger were baked and I was significantly bigger than them.

2. An 18 year old chick tried to bed me when I was 14. I don't think I had pubic hair at the time.

[BrownstotheBone]

Feb 7, 2013 21:38:16 GMT -5 @inf said:

2. An 18 year old chick tried to bed me when I was 14. I don't think I had pubic hair at the time.

I can't decide if I like that story and want to hear more, or if I need to eat a handful of magic mushrooms to make me forget what I just read.