Mikey33
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Post by Mikey33 on Sept 5, 2012 12:15:34 GMT -5
so last month a buddy had a bachelor party. I told my friend organizing that I would go, but ultimately did not - gave him about four days notice.
Today he emailed me asking for my portion of the bill.
Should I pay him or not?
This is a college friend, whom I only see once or twice a year and don't really talk to outside of that.
Other notes - I am trying to buy a house that will need an immediate HVAC and roof replacement. Just got a $700 car bill today. Have the woman starting a new career that will ultimately double our household income but for the time being is not bringing in any money and will need to start paying $165/week in daycare for her to go work.
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TommyDee
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Post by TommyDee on Sept 5, 2012 12:35:06 GMT -5
What is he asking for? Your portion of a reserved room or more?
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Diz
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Post by Diz on Sept 5, 2012 12:46:12 GMT -5
Yah, need more details.
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Sigflanagan6
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Post by Sigflanagan6 on Sept 5, 2012 12:58:37 GMT -5
How much time elapsed between saying you would go and canceling?
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Mikey33
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Post by Mikey33 on Sept 5, 2012 13:42:32 GMT -5
Said I would go about a month beforehand. Cancelled four days before the event.
Shared room, portion of limo, band, and limo booze probably. All told $310 - the thing that gets me is that there were 15 guys going other than the bachelor so that would have been $20 more a person which is what I think I would have done in the situation.
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Diz
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Post by Diz on Sept 5, 2012 13:44:43 GMT -5
Be a man, pay up. Why should the planner have to pay your share because you backed out of a commitment at the last minute.
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TommyDee
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Post by TommyDee on Sept 5, 2012 13:46:12 GMT -5
If you can, I'd make sure he didn't charge the other guys more than set price. Is he double dipping?
If he didn't charge them $20 or so more, I think you probably should pay for the room portion and maybe the limo but not the band or booze.
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Sigflanagan6
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Post by Sigflanagan6 on Sept 5, 2012 15:09:19 GMT -5
What was the reason you cancelled? This is key.
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Mikey33
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Post by Mikey33 on Sept 5, 2012 15:15:51 GMT -5
actually I didn't want to spend the money
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Voodoochile
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Post by Voodoochile on Sept 5, 2012 15:24:05 GMT -5
actually I didn't want to spend the money You backed out because you didn't want to spend the money? |
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Diz
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Post by Diz on Sept 5, 2012 15:25:33 GMT -5
actually I didn't want to spend the money How is that working out for ya? |
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Voodoochile
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Post by Voodoochile on Sept 5, 2012 15:29:27 GMT -5
This may be more of a question of friendship than ethics.
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bobbymo
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Post by bobbymo on Sept 5, 2012 15:35:17 GMT -5
This really depends on a variety of variables. I think you should just tell him you didn't go because you didn't want to spend the money, but try to give him something.
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TommyDee
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Post by TommyDee on Sept 5, 2012 15:37:32 GMT -5
This really depends on a variety of variables. I think you should just tell him you didn't go because you didn't want to spend the money, but try to give him something. Like I said, pay for at least the room. I think you should have cleared it with the whole gang before hand mikey. "I am in a bad spot with money, can you all pick up my piece of this?" Most non dickheads would say yes and you would have been good to go. |
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Voodoochile
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Post by Voodoochile on Sept 5, 2012 15:42:41 GMT -5
Hell if it was me and you came to me saying you were in a spot I would have said no problem just pay what you can but come along anyway. I can't say your buddy would have done the same thing but to just back out right before hand because you didn't want to spend the money is pretty dickish.
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Mikey33
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Post by Mikey33 on Sept 5, 2012 16:09:47 GMT -5
meh, fuck it
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Sigflanagan6
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Post by Sigflanagan6 on Sept 5, 2012 16:36:32 GMT -5
I'm with voodoo. In fact I've been on both sides of this coin and exactly what voodoo said should happen, happened.
It's a tough one where you are now though. You gave they guy ample notice to tell everyone hey pitch in another $20 a guy bailed. He didn't. So now he has to go back and ask for it which makes you look like shit when if he would've done it beforehand nobody would have thought twice about it. He dropped the ball, you get shit either way. Tough one.
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Voodoochile
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Post by Voodoochile on Sept 5, 2012 16:43:24 GMT -5
Big question on my part is did you back out because you didn't want to spend the money or because things were tight and it would have caused more grief if you spent it?
If it's because you didn't want to then you're a cheap fuck and negative Javvy points.
If it's because things were too tight for you to spend the extra cash then you should have explained that up front. Also negative Javvy points for not having cash to throw at a friends bachelor party.
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bobbymo
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Post by bobbymo on Sept 5, 2012 17:00:53 GMT -5
Question: Can Mikey pay with Javvy points?
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G&T
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Post by G&T on Sept 5, 2012 18:54:42 GMT -5
Fuck them. Take the $310 and treat yourself to a night out. Take pictures and send them to him while flipping him off and drinking shots off a hookers stomach.
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Sigflanagan6
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Post by Sigflanagan6 on Sept 5, 2012 19:41:48 GMT -5
Question: Can Mikey pay with Javvy points? Depends on who wins the election. |
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Mikey33
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Post by Mikey33 on Sept 6, 2012 7:30:32 GMT -5
Big question on my part is did you back out because you didn't want to spend the money or because things were tight and it would have caused more grief if you spent it? If it's because you didn't want to then you're a cheap fuck and negative Javvy points. If it's because things were too tight for you to spend the extra cash then you should have explained that up front. Also negative Javvy points for not having cash to throw at a friends bachelor party. things aren't "tight" yet, but about to be. Buying the house and the gf is starting work next week. Problem is she is going into real estate and not going to make any money until she starts selling. But I still have to pay daycare. House is a fixer-upper too. |
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brownsphenom
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Post by brownsphenom on Sept 6, 2012 8:18:12 GMT -5
Don't be "that guy", pay your part. $310 seems fucking steep though. Whatever happened to a couple of strippers at a buddy's house and getting lickered up. Hell even an overnight trip to Windsor is cheaper than that, nothing like 8 guys, drunk as fuck, in a hotel room.
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Mikey33
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Post by Mikey33 on Sept 6, 2012 8:21:56 GMT -5
they went crazy, actually rented his favorite cover band to play on the limo for an hour.
Thing was the guy that wants the money fronted all the booze, he reps Belvedere and other high end shit in the NYC area.
So the $310 from what I can tell is for the hotel room, band, and limo.
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TommyDee
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Post by TommyDee on Sept 6, 2012 8:25:47 GMT -5
I've said it from the start. Negotiate. I think you'll just end up paying for the room.
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