Post by acejack on Oct 19, 2010 3:40:50 GMT -5
Talking About Politics.
I've nearly punched people</tree> for this shit. You're sitting there enjoying a party or an evening at the bar and suddenly someone thinks it's a great idea to liven up the place and talk about politics. It's especially bad now, when every local broadcast is congested with election ads and motherfuckers just can't resist "giving you their take on things" or "telling you who's got it right".
Meanwhile: "SHUT THE FUCK UP! I DON'T CARE! YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE WHO LISTENS TO NEWS TALK RADIO AND PARROTS OPINIONS YOU HEAR SOMEONE ELSE SAY TO MAKE IDLE CONVERSATION WITH STRANGERS WHO DON'T WANT TO FUCKING TALK TO YOU!" is rolling through my mind like a beacon.
But I'm polite, and lots of other people also carry guns here so upon the first pause I say "I don't follow politics" or "I don't vote". Which, is actually worse than saying "I think the exact opposite of you". because you basically disregard the whole discussion they had planned.
You can usually expect a 5th grade social studies lesson as well as a lecture about a citizen's responsibilities to which I usually misquote either Bill Hicks:
"I'll show you politics in America. Here it is, right here. "I think the puppet on the right shares my beliefs." "I think the puppet on the left is more to my liking." "Hey, wait a minute, there's one guy holding out both puppets!" "Shut up! Go back to bed, America. Your government is in control. Here you go, America! You are free to do as we tell you! You are free to do what we tell you! You are free to do as we tell you!"
or George Carlin:
“I don’t vote. Two reasons. First of all it’s meaningless; this country was bought and sold a long time ago. The shit they shovel around every 4 years *pfft* doesn’t mean a fucking thing. Secondly, I believe if you vote, you have no right to complain. People like to twist that around – they say, ‘If you don’t vote, you have no right to complain’, but where’s the logic in that? If you vote and you elect dishonest, incompetent people into office who screw everything up, you are responsible for what they have done. You caused the problem; you voted them in; you have no right to complain. I, on the other hand, who did not vote, who in fact did not even leave the house on election day, am in no way responsible for what these people have done and have every right to complain about the mess you created that I had nothing to do with.”
Either way, the person is now completely confrontational, but has no real ammo to continue battling with you. What they typically do then is try to find anyone within earshot of you and force a political conversation on them, which usually ends horribly.
Now they are going to give you a dirty look you don't deserve. It's important to hold back any and all laughter, even the slightest of palate snorts which could lead to serious confrontations, even fisticuffs in your your local watering hole or hosts living room when all you wanted to do was not talk politics.
This has been "Do you know what makes me angry?" and I'm your host, acejack.
Promotional consideration provided by:
Baltic Sea Puking Twins Furniture
I puke on you, buy couch! I puke on you, buy table!
Bananakin Skywalker Productions
Where else are you gonna see two bananas fucking?
Sarcastic Jack Off Hulk
He's not impressed by your arty porn, but he'll beat off anyway.
I've nearly punched people</tree> for this shit. You're sitting there enjoying a party or an evening at the bar and suddenly someone thinks it's a great idea to liven up the place and talk about politics. It's especially bad now, when every local broadcast is congested with election ads and motherfuckers just can't resist "giving you their take on things" or "telling you who's got it right".
Meanwhile: "SHUT THE FUCK UP! I DON'T CARE! YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE WHO LISTENS TO NEWS TALK RADIO AND PARROTS OPINIONS YOU HEAR SOMEONE ELSE SAY TO MAKE IDLE CONVERSATION WITH STRANGERS WHO DON'T WANT TO FUCKING TALK TO YOU!" is rolling through my mind like a beacon.
But I'm polite, and lots of other people also carry guns here so upon the first pause I say "I don't follow politics" or "I don't vote". Which, is actually worse than saying "I think the exact opposite of you". because you basically disregard the whole discussion they had planned.
You can usually expect a 5th grade social studies lesson as well as a lecture about a citizen's responsibilities to which I usually misquote either Bill Hicks:
"I'll show you politics in America. Here it is, right here. "I think the puppet on the right shares my beliefs." "I think the puppet on the left is more to my liking." "Hey, wait a minute, there's one guy holding out both puppets!" "Shut up! Go back to bed, America. Your government is in control. Here you go, America! You are free to do as we tell you! You are free to do what we tell you! You are free to do as we tell you!"
or George Carlin:
“I don’t vote. Two reasons. First of all it’s meaningless; this country was bought and sold a long time ago. The shit they shovel around every 4 years *pfft* doesn’t mean a fucking thing. Secondly, I believe if you vote, you have no right to complain. People like to twist that around – they say, ‘If you don’t vote, you have no right to complain’, but where’s the logic in that? If you vote and you elect dishonest, incompetent people into office who screw everything up, you are responsible for what they have done. You caused the problem; you voted them in; you have no right to complain. I, on the other hand, who did not vote, who in fact did not even leave the house on election day, am in no way responsible for what these people have done and have every right to complain about the mess you created that I had nothing to do with.”
Either way, the person is now completely confrontational, but has no real ammo to continue battling with you. What they typically do then is try to find anyone within earshot of you and force a political conversation on them, which usually ends horribly.
Now they are going to give you a dirty look you don't deserve. It's important to hold back any and all laughter, even the slightest of palate snorts which could lead to serious confrontations, even fisticuffs in your your local watering hole or hosts living room when all you wanted to do was not talk politics.
This has been "Do you know what makes me angry?" and I'm your host, acejack.
Promotional consideration provided by:
Baltic Sea Puking Twins Furniture
I puke on you, buy couch! I puke on you, buy table!Bananakin Skywalker Productions
Where else are you gonna see two bananas fucking?Sarcastic Jack Off Hulk
He's not impressed by your arty porn, but he'll beat off anyway.
im not surprised.
