acejack
Administrator
cogito ergo doleo
Posts: 12,792
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Post by acejack on Sept 27, 2013 22:28:45 GMT -5
I hate my neighbor's dog. Big dogs, little dogs. Yippy dogs, bitey dogs. Fuck them all. I hate dogs at the park. I hate dogs at the beach. Most of all, I hate dog owners. Fucking fucks bring their fucking shitters to our nice park to take a nice shit right in the middle of the 8th fairway. Or better yet they're there playing catch with their dumb fucking pet until the thing sees my kids and forgets about the ball and runs top speed to jump up on and lick my kids.
These fucking morons, these stupid cocksuckers, they all say the same thing, with a big dumb fucking grin: "It's okay, he doesn't bite!" I want to say: "Really? Not even if someone is beating the shit out of his owner? Seems to defeat the purpose of having a dog. By the way get him the fuck away from my kid." And it's this same fucking retard that somehow leaves a gate unlocked and their rabid pitbulls chew a woman's face off while she's walking around the neighborhood handing out bibles like happened this afternoon. Or sometimes they keep it in the family and the fucking biting machine perceives their one year old girl as a threat and eats her like happened last week.
I know, I'm a big meanie. I'm no fun. Dogs are man's best friend. Well say a quick prayer that I'm never Emperor of the Galaxy because your fucking pooch is the third thing to go right after cigarettes and gum.
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acejack
Administrator
cogito ergo doleo
Posts: 12,792
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Post by acejack on Sept 27, 2013 22:30:14 GMT -5
"Look at me, I'm so cute. I couldn't possibly hurt anyone until a synapse in my inbred brain misfires and I think it's time for Order 66."
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Voodoochile
Administrator
Boils His Ribs
Bouncy Bouncy
Posts: 25,536
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Post by Voodoochile on Sept 27, 2013 22:34:50 GMT -5
What up dog?
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acejack
Administrator
cogito ergo doleo
Posts: 12,792
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Post by acejack on Sept 27, 2013 22:35:31 GMT -5
"Bark Bark! Don't forget about me! Bark Bark Bark!"
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acejack
Administrator
cogito ergo doleo
Posts: 12,792
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Post by acejack on Sept 27, 2013 22:37:33 GMT -5
You've been working at the sandwich shop too long.
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Voodoochile
Administrator
Boils His Ribs
Bouncy Bouncy
Posts: 25,536
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Post by Voodoochile on Sept 27, 2013 22:38:23 GMT -5
"Bark Bark! Don't forget about me! Bark Bark Bark!" I have one of those. Annoying little fucker sometimes.
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acejack
Administrator
cogito ergo doleo
Posts: 12,792
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Post by acejack on Sept 27, 2013 22:41:01 GMT -5
Yeah I know, there's one right outside my window bark bark.
Never let the wife and kids pick out the dog.
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Diz
Administrator
Posts: 21,498
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Post by Diz on Sept 27, 2013 22:49:29 GMT -5
I like dogs and my daughter loves them. I couldn't imagine not letting a kid around dogs.
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Diz
Administrator
Posts: 21,498
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Post by Diz on Sept 27, 2013 22:50:02 GMT -5
I even like Snoop Dogg.
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Diz
Administrator
Posts: 21,498
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Post by Diz on Sept 27, 2013 22:50:24 GMT -5
Who let the dogs out
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G&T
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Dislocated Boy
Chocolate Milk
Posts: 11,652
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Post by G&T on Sept 27, 2013 23:01:51 GMT -5
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acejack
Administrator
cogito ergo doleo
Posts: 12,792
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Post by acejack on Sept 27, 2013 23:04:09 GMT -5
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G&T
Administrator
Dislocated Boy
Chocolate Milk
Posts: 11,652
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Post by G&T on Sept 27, 2013 23:07:42 GMT -5
That was rougher than I expected....
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Sigflanagan6
Administrator
Fly in the ointment.
For Bobbymo!!!!
Posts: 6,745
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Post by Sigflanagan6 on Sept 27, 2013 23:26:21 GMT -5
I don't know what I'd do without my dog. Seriously.
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G&T
Administrator
Dislocated Boy
Chocolate Milk
Posts: 11,652
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Post by G&T on Sept 28, 2013 0:08:53 GMT -5
Well you have your dogs, then you have your dawgs. I guess I'm hanging with the latter after putting the golden down last year. That dog had lost all motor skills and was on the table about to euthanized and the pretty young assistant Rachel walked in and he perked up and wagged his tail one last time, I shit you not. Rachel walked out of the room because it was too much.
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flats
Administrator
Reduces stress, enhances immune function
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
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Post by flats on Sept 28, 2013 0:41:12 GMT -5
My dog is a smelly dumb shit that is loud and disobedient and bites and I'd bury you all and all your kin in a shallow mass grave before I'd let anything happen to her.
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Sigflanagan6
Administrator
Fly in the ointment.
For Bobbymo!!!!
Posts: 6,745
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Post by Sigflanagan6 on Sept 28, 2013 0:49:22 GMT -5
My dog is a sensitive dude. I've never laid a hand on him, no need he's usually well behaved. This morning I ran and got some BK for breakfast. Got home, had to piss, put the bag on the coffee table not thinking. Come out, bag on the floor, French toast sticks gone. Before I proceed, I never get upset with my dog. Never raise my voice. So anyhow, I pick up the bag and very sternly ask him what the hell he did. The fucker cried. Weirdest noise I've ever heard him make. Put his head down ran into the closet for 2 hours. Asshole will do it again tomorrow if he can.
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acejack
Administrator
cogito ergo doleo
Posts: 12,792
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Post by acejack on Sept 28, 2013 3:16:13 GMT -5
Glad you all like your dogs. I'm sure they're cool dogs and aren't barking until midnight or attacking kids. So what kind of dog you got?
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acejack
Administrator
cogito ergo doleo
Posts: 12,792
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Post by acejack on Sept 28, 2013 3:19:27 GMT -5
I hate my neighbor's dog. Big dogs, little dogs. Yippy dogs, bitey dogs. Fuck them all. I hate dogs at the park. I hate dogs at the beach. Most of all, I hate dog owners. Fucking fucks bring their fucking shitters to our nice park to take a nice shit right in the middle of the 8th fairway. Or better yet they're there playing catch with their dumb fucking pet until the thing sees my kids and forgets about the ball and runs top speed to jump up on and lick my kids. These fucking morons, these stupid cocksuckers, they all say the same thing, with a big dumb fucking grin: "It's okay, he doesn't bite!" I want to say: "Really? Not even if someone is beating the shit out of his owner? Seems to defeat the purpose of having a dog. By the way get him the fuck away from my kid." And it's this same fucking retard that somehow leaves a gate unlocked and their rabid pitbulls chew a woman's face off while she's walking around the neighborhood handing out bibles like happened this afternoon. Or sometimes they keep it in the family and the fucking biting machine perceives their one year old girl as a threat and eats her like happened last week. I know, I'm a big meanie. I'm no fun. Dogs are man's best friend. Well say a quick prayer that I'm never Emperor of the Galaxy because your fucking pooch is the third thing to go right after cigarettes and gum. Just in case you think I'm making up awful humans and their shitty pets. www.8newsnow.com/story/7143394/familys-pit-bull-attacks-small-childwww.ktnv.com/news/local/Woman-badly-injured-in-dog-attack-in-northwest-Las-Vegas-225574132.html
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acejack
Administrator
cogito ergo doleo
Posts: 12,792
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Post by acejack on Sept 28, 2013 3:32:22 GMT -5
My dog is a smelly dumb shit that is loud and disobedient and bites and I'd bury you all and all your kin in a shallow mass grave before I'd let anything happen to her. Tommy is half Jewish and you're being really insensitive to the Holocaust.
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Post by BrownstotheBone on Sept 28, 2013 6:52:09 GMT -5
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Josh
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Molon Labe
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Post by Josh on Sept 28, 2013 6:54:48 GMT -5
I don't know what I'd do without my dog. Seriously.
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Josh
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Molon Labe
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot
Posts: 1,987
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Post by Josh on Sept 28, 2013 6:55:43 GMT -5
Fuck cats
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Post by BrownstotheBone on Sept 28, 2013 9:00:17 GMT -5
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Sigflanagan6
Administrator
Fly in the ointment.
For Bobbymo!!!!
Posts: 6,745
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Post by Sigflanagan6 on Sept 28, 2013 9:32:16 GMT -5
Can't stand cats. Thrilled my son is allergic to them.
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